Made Up News

In recent months, the milk shortage has caused all sorts of worries amongst housewives. Dairy operators are suggesting rationing and even me...

The new Home Secretary, Dr Fido "Snapper" Reed, told us that his new year's resolutions would be to get more exercise, and to ...

A man from Staffordshire today was joined in matrimony in a new civil partnership. The building site he was working on was issued with a lic...

The leader of the opposition, Dave Windmill, today pledged a "raft" of green taxes to conquer global warming. Under an opposition ...

You lot...yes you. You don't have a clue beyond pressing "nuke" for three minutes on the microwave do you. Yes..you lot...they...

Learner drivers! What are they for? Eh? Holding up the bleedin' traffic. Bloody Disgrace. These dawdling losers, note "L" for ...

Like August 12th, when grouse shooting starts, 17th July marks the annual opening of silly season. This year is expected to be a bumper year...

A rare 29p postage stamp has been found by a mail worker in Leeds. The lucky finder, Mr Tim Gleeful, of Bingley said that he was rifling tho...

Today Health and Safety Executives slapped a condemned notice on a large man at the centre of Government who was declared unfit for purpose....

Cheery Cherry Blur returns as the eponymous superhero, Supermum. Last time out, as filmgoers may recall, tearful Blur's cover as a modes...

The Institute of National Statistics have long been criticised for being a waste of public money because their output is so variable and mis...

Apparently the theives have returned my stereo - with a post-it note stuck on saying "this Ford radio looks too cheap in the Aston Mart...

Following the prolonged drought in the South East of England, there have become increasing calls for the creation of a National Grid for wat...

A comprehensive study by the Institute of Supuerfluous Studies (ISS) revealed a shocking truth today. It has long been suspected that the ph...

Courtroom 6 (as normal) of the High Courts was today the scene of a dramatic case. In the defendant's box was a box, one in a somewhat s...

A Wakefield man was in tears today after his valuable lard collection was taken by thieves during the night. Lard collector, Ron Suet, said ...

A short man embarks on a CGI adventure, defying odds and supposedly succeeding. Meanwhile explosions and fireballs go off. Tim Kruse plays t...

ZZZulu Publishing Forget the OED, Websters or Chambers - the only choice for you is our all new lexicographical compendium. REMEMBER - ZZZ...

Mud, mud, glorious mud. Nothing quite like it for...improving your skin tone. Following TV's Jerry Helliwell's surprising discovery ...

A small independent sports shop has won a prestigious national award this week. The shop in Reepham a village in Norfolk, called "Racke...

Former Prime Minister calls for Birmingham's famous Bull-Ring shopping centre to be given a face lift. Sub-editor sacked by leading loca...

Courts Again: Today a leading chef Don Literal was fined £1000 by magistrates and told "not to di it again". Literal was left comp...

The experiment to encourage school children to eat meals made from proper ingredients is past its sell-by date and in an unexpected twizzle ...

A further celebration was in store for Nottinghamshire miners today. After the colliery was reopened in the village of Nutty Slack last mont...

A girl mysteriously disappears and Sergeant Neil Down (played by Chip Boardboard) is sent from the west country to visit the scene of her di...

Central Courts, London. Today a donkey, Mr Clippety-Clop, from Skegness was in the courts in a claim for damages under a very obscure copyri...