UK Space Agency Lands Rocket on Moon

Champagne corks and party poppers were going off like crazy at the UKSA in Bracknell today as the first British space rocket lands on the moon. "This makes us only about the third or so nation to land on the Moon, " said leading astrophysicist Dr Albert Clott.

The landing module was about the size of a dustbin and about as useful because all the instruments on board got damaged when it crash lended a little out of control. Scientists enthusiams weren't dampened though. Clott explained, "this was a two pronged mission. Admittedly we had hoped to collect some surface samples, but we also wanted to experiment with a new idea for our excess wate which can no longer fit into brimming landfill sites. There's a lot of room up there for all our plastic cartons and newspapers and we wanted to know how feasible it would be to fire it into space. It seems that we have hit the jackpot."

But it was revealed later that the mission hadn't gone completely to plan. I managed to beat a confession out of Clott. "No, you are right, things haven't actually been perfect. We had hoped to put the rocket onto Mars but someone loaded the wrong space map into the dustbin's computer and it took a wrong turning. It's a shame we never made it to Mars, but the Moon is a very good second best. Given the incorrect trajectory, it's a bloody miracle we hit anything at all."

Ministers were unavailable for comment.