Death for Flyers

Publicly funded overstaffed busy-body organisation - Campaign for Green Issues and Cutting Out Middle-Men - (CaGIsCOMM) moaned again today. "It's a national disgrace!"

This time they want regulations for flybills. These papers might typically advertise local services like hairdressers, chip shops, courgette suppliers or badger gassers and are inserted under windscreen wipers in Sainsbury's car parks.

Leading CaGIsCOMM irritant, Bessy Bossy, explained in her usual way, "It's a national disgrace! In a strong wind some of these sheets can work loose and blow around the place rather than being neatly recycled." Assistant, Hector Ring added, "Flysheets are the absolute bottom of the heap when it comes to recycling with almost 3% failing to make it back to a repulping plant. We are calling for new regulations for flysheet advertisers to simply collect their box of printing and dump it straight into a suitable recycling bin - cutting out the middle man."

Green Minister, Jacques Vert, broke off from his conference with a pine plantation to say that this was the most interesting thing he'd heard all week.