Head Boiling a New Crime

A new crime passed onto the statute books today - that of head boiling. Home Secretary, Carlos T Jackal explained, "This is sadly an inevitable consequence of our slightly less than satisfactory education policy. When we called for a more literal society we meant that we wanted people to read a bit more, but instead people are learning to take things at face value too much. Literally, literally."

The bill will enable police to arrest anyone heard shouting, "Go and boil your head" because it is believed far too many people actually are popping their bonces into a pan on the stove.

Jackal pomped further, "The bill extends the incitement laws, as such a phrase is clearly incitement to harm. And furthermore it glorifies the process of using dangerous substances like hot water for malicious purposes. As an extra measure, we are intending to launch a kettle amnesty next week during which people can hand over these deadly weapons without fear of over-prosecution."