Man Marries Cement Mixer

A man from Staffordshire today was joined in matrimony in a new civil partnership. The building site he was working on was issued with a licence for the ceremony so that Mr Gary Gypsum was able to marry the cement mixer, a MultiTurner 500, during his tea break so that he was able to continue his bricklaying after the service. His gangmates joined him and the foreman Mr Eric Shunn conducted the service under council supervision.

Mr Gypsum shunned a relationship with a woman or another man, claiming that no one gave him the undying attention and service than his beloved MultiTurner. "Every morning I fill her up and she turns over completely satisfied," said the happy groom. "Mind you I do have to put up with her incessant chuntering on all day, but that is a small price to pay for all the work I get out of her."

The couple said that they wouldn't be goign abroad for their honeymoon because Mrs Gypsum would have trouble getting through the security arch at Stansted without considerable embarrassment and intend instead to cement their marriage on the Dorset coast where there was plenty of sand and limestone. "It'll be like a home from home," said Mr Gypsum.