Two Cures for Water Shortages Proposed

Following the prolonged drought in the South East of England, there have become increasing calls for the creation of a National Grid for water. By having a countrywide network of piping, excess water from Yorshire, Wales or even as far afield as Scotland could be pumped to London and the South East where there is a deficit.

Leading experts have tended to pooh-pooh such a scheme because water is very heavy and surprisingly "sticky". In terms of molecular friction, water is far from slippery. The Green lobby and some proper experts have all said that the energy required to pump water hundreds of miles just so some poncey Londoners can keep their lawns looking lush would be very expensive both in terms of money and greenhouse gases produces.

But now two new proposals have been suggested. First comes one from the University of Mansfield sponsored by the Coal Board. They suggest building a network of piping at a depth on 20 miles and to heat water to superheated steam. This steam can then pass through the pipes where geothermal temperatures will maintain it sufficiently long in its gaseous state to get to the South. They suggest using coal fired burners to boil the water - naturally. Although completely mad, ministers are considering it.

The second proposal comes from the ISS2 (or Institute of Superfluid Statistics - see previous article). They maintain that if they can turn the liquid to be pumped through a more practical pipe network, just underground, into a superfluid the energy needed for pumping can be massively reduced. Superfluids have virtually no friction. However, they say the major drawback is that the only superfluid known so far is liquid helium. Liquid helium is far less effective than water for washing up and can often mean you will get through Fairy liquid at twice the normal rate. And if you consume four litres of fluid a day, as you should to keep the kidney's flushed, there is a high likelihood of talking in a squeaky voice. All small beer though for a decent lawn.