Railway Station Admonished

Railway operator, SloCoach has been told off for placing offensive warning signs on Hatfield Peveral station in Essex, but managers have not been slow to defend themselves.

The station is on a high speed section of the Norwich to London InterCity line and trains can come past the platform at over 100mph causing a very strong vortex in its wake. Hence they felt justfied to place signs waning passengers to "Stand away from platform edge - or you might get sucked off."

The signs have come down, but some passengers have sympathy with SloCoach. Commuter, Violet Dostoyevsky, 23, said that when the expresses pass by it can "certainly put the willies up me." Jeff Pinstrype, and accountant from Boreham, said that one morning he had inadvertantly stood too close to the edge and found himself "being pulled off" as the train passed and had only been saved by a fellow passenger who had lent him a "helping hand".

But stuffy old trout, Betty Grumble, of Tunbridge Wells moaning society, Entendre-Entendre was non-plussed. "I'm disgusted," she endlessly repeated.