Car Crime Up Up

A comprehensive study by the Institute of Supuerfluous Studies (ISS) revealed a shocking truth today. It has long been suspected that the phenomenon of "media inflation" - so long just a theory - could be a reality that blights our lives. Now we are being told the truth.

Not only is car crime up, but mentions of car crime being up is also up. This is not just a rise dinner table tittle tattle of the chattering classes but a rise in the underlying index within the media. The headline index shows a rate of media inflation of 2.7%.

Home office ministers were highly concerned. A spokesman said that it is this Government's aim to keep media inflation low, especially on the areas of crime and other bad things, and in turn that would allow interest rates of readers also to fall. They looked forward to the day they would see a headline such as "car crime up down".

If anyone is interested, I had my stereo nicked last night.