Near Death for Fliers

An aeroplane landed at Heathrow nearly killing literally millions, thousands and perhaps hundreds of passengers in a terrifying incident. The British Airways 747 jet still loaded with almost a few gallons of viciously explosive kerosene travelling from very busy New York’s JFK airport to equally busy Heathrow, both in the world’s top five, was close to disaster as it limped hopelessly in to land in London.

This Newspapers Expert on Nerve Management said, “The plane was that close to disaster. It had circled London several times and come into land with much lower fuel than it took off and had the landing gear stuck or the pilot had a seizure and the flight computers gone mad and the fly-by-wire equipment had a brainstorm and the co-pilot accidentally jumped out, all hell of an accident could have occurred. It was that close.”

If the plane had landed in the normal West direction, have scudded off the runway, quickly been whirled in a U-turn by a freak whirlwind and continued to machete it’s way through Herts, Essex and Suffolk until it took the top clean off Sizewell B, then they and half of Southern Britain would be dead in a disastrous catastrophe. We were that close!

A spokesman for BA said that flying in the London stack and the landing had been normal although high winds may have made the touchdown a little more bumpy than normal.

Oh yeh? Normal?.” I was on it mate and the fucker bounced, I tell you”, said journalist, Me. Watch it next time. Not that my hands leak like Thames Water pipes when I fly or anything.