Courts: Dalek vs BBC by our legal correspondent Lee Gallayed

A landmark case was heard in courtroom 6 of the Royal Courts of Justice today when a Dalek made claims for compensation on the grounds of both sexual and racial discrimination. Legal spokesman for the defendants, the BBC, read a prepared statement, "Mr Dalek has accused the BBC of blatant discrimination on the grounds that its programmes always portray him as an evil killing machine and a member of a criminal underclass. Furthermore Mr Dalek alleges that he is portrayed as asexual, when in fact he claims to be gay. The BBC denies that coverage of this ethnic minority deliberately uses steroetypes."

But Mr Dalek's spokesman said that his client was a sensitive, caring individual with no history of criminal activities. Even though some members of his race had attempted mass genocide it was an infringement of his Human Rights to brand all Daleks as murderers, vagabonds and footpads. In addition just because he has no genitals, it does not mean he is asexual. In fact he's camper than a row of pink tents, is frequently found drinking spritzers in Old Compton Street bars and just because of the limitations of his mode of perambulation, is a mincing old queen.

Lawyers are studying the Human Rights Act to see if it extends to alien races, but admit that it is so woolly that it can be adapted to almost any situation.

Mr Dalek also complained that he had not received Legal Aid to fight the case, but that his lawyer had agreed to work on a No Win - No Life basis. Pressed by journalists, Mr Dalek was not very forthcoming about his chances, merely repeating the enigmatic, "cross-examinate". He was then helped down the stairs and into a taxi.

The case continues.