Local Sports Shop Wins Award

A small independent sports shop has won a prestigious national award this week. The shop in Reepham a village in Norfolk, called "Rackett Sports" beat off challenges from precisely no challengers for the national Sports Shop That Sells Actual Sports Equipment award held at London's prestigious Trafalgar Square Telephone Box.

Owner, Dennis Rackett, said he was overcome and surprised at receiving the award. He said that his store was the only one that didn't just sell footie shorts, "extreme" clothing and Timberland gear. "You can come into our shop and buy actual cricket bats, squash racquets or even table tennis tables, " he said, "although of course no one ever does. They just come in and get angry when I can't sell them knocked off grey imported England Shirts."

The award is sponsored by FattyBurgaz 'R' Us, the fast food peddler. Spokesman for the chain said he was pleased Mr Rackett could accept the award and that his company was proud to be associated with businesses which promote sport, activity and good health.

He then muttered something about the whole thing being a charade to cover up their guilt over fuelling obesity...caring company...blah, blah. But I may have misheard that.