France Burned by Pension Providers

An unruly band of insurers have gone on a huge pyromaniacal rampage through France. Armies of unhinged men in pinstripe suits are systematically torching garlic plantations throughout the Ardeche and Provence.

Brigand Leader (Risk Management), Simon Safe, screamed at me, “Have you just read the news? Technically we’re insolvent unless we burn these bastard bulbs.” Other underwriters waved placards demanding Hoof the Cloves and Adios Alliums.

French Farming Minister, Zoot Alors, retorted, “Zees mad Rosbifs. Zey sink we ‘ave une monopoly on garlic, just because nous smellons a leettle beet oniony.” He insisted though that he was above petty Cross-Channel word-wars saying, “Anyway, who won the seeks nashons championship?”